Random Top 5: Worst Jazz Instruments

I'm not a jazz expert, but I know what I don't like. Here are the top five instruments that can ruin any jazz song.

5. Soprano sax

I'm sure there are people out there that can make this thing sound awesome. I'm thinking of Kenny G.

4. The Flute

Makes the soprano sax sound macho.

3. The tuba

Have you ever heard someone try to solo with a tuba? I have. It's like watching a sumo wrestler try to tap dance.

2. Xylophone

I went to a free jazz concert in the park. As they were setting up the stage, someone brought out a xylophone. I left.

1. The human voice

Nothing destroys a jazz tune faster than some idiot singing over it. If I'm listening to jazz on the radio and I hear singing start to come out of the speaker, I will leap over my wife and dog risking severe bodily injury diving for the off switch. Also scat. Double meaning. Think about it.